In 2018, it is more than evident that the advantage for black men is in disproportion to what other men have in this world. The most unsettling thing about that is that we live in a society where this illogical and dysfunctional mentality is acceptable; what’s more, the contrast is what is deemed abnormal. Before we get into this, let me first say, that before anything, I am a black woman spirit and all that I am, all that I am becoming and all that my purpose is, serves with the intent to uplift, heal, restore and enlighten as I transition to return to that from which I come…royalty, power and dominion. Suffice it to say; that is what attracts me to the black man. In him are qualities which exude royalty, power and dominion that I am innately attracted to, they are familiar, they are a vibrational match to who I am at my most divine level and therefore, it is that which I am most divinely aligned with. However, in my recent encounters with black men, there has been a void of the vibrational frequency assuring me that they see themselves as such. If I may be transparent, while it is disheartening to see, it is incomparable to the feeling associated with the energy when you come into contact with it being a woman of a certain caliber. It is imperative that we get to the root of where it stems from and the time to do so is now.
Like most black women I know, I come from a lineage of “strong black women”. In today’s society with the Olivia Popes, Annaliese Keatings and Beyonces who “run the world”, I’ll admit, it is refreshing to see. However, too many of us have gotten lost in that mentality causing us to lead misinformed lives under the guise of this “I don’t need a man” superpower that we proudly wear as a badge of honor while deep down inside we are suffering. As women, we were created to nurture and heal, therefore it is impossible to live out our fullest potential as a woman without a man. PERIOD.
STOP reading right now if you’ve found offense in anything I’ve said thus far. You won’t be able to receive what is to come, in the manner for which it is intended. If you are ready to heal the disconnect between the black man and woman, I invite you to continue reading.
That being said, it doesn’t matter how strong and powerful you are in this world as an “independent diva”, you still desire the energy of a male counterpart. It is of a woman’s natural instinct to be attracted (drawn, pulled) to masculine energy. Also, it is important to understand that there is a difference between masculine energy and being a masculine man who is aware of the power of his masculine energy. Somehow, while this “ I am woman, hear me roar” mentality was being passed down, the principal of feminine energy and its importance to be in harmonic, divine flow with an equivalent or balancing masculine energy, was disregarded. This leads me to my next point.
Lack of knowledge of the Role of Men and Women
In order for the woman to fully serve her purpose in a man’s life, she must first understand the importance of her role in her own life. She must know who she is and that will help her to understand the value she adds to a man's life. There is no one or no thing on this earth without purpose. Our entire journey is about finding and living that purpose out. Yet, we have not been properly gifted the knowledge that was to be passed down through generations allowing us during our individual journeys to evolve into our complete selves before trying to become one whole unit with another. In the beginning, for everything that was created, there was a polar opposite; light and darkness, male and female, and so on. This is indicative of the effectiveness of having balance.
Bringing our attention back to the roles of men and women, we must understand that proper balance is needed to efficiently operate in a healthy relationship with a man. For instance, men are hunters innately. It is their role to be the pursuer, which only makes sense for women to be pursued. We’ve all heard the saying “he that finds a wife, finds a good thing…”, however, lacking the knowledge of what a "good thing" is and how to be that for the right man, we as women often times experience unwanted encounters. When you are a woman who knows her value, you get to decide the kind of man you are most aligned with. You get to become the woman, the kind of man you desire would be attracted to. It is also important to know that men are leaders assigned to leading the direction of the family. They are dominant and desire to be in their rightful role of leadership. However, as it is with women who are unclear about who they are, men who are not aware of the purpose of their divine obligation to lead righteously, dominance and control can be misused and manipulated. More than that, when you are in-tune, tapped in and turned on to self, you will find it almost impossible to align with something that isn’t a vibrational match to the current state of your thinking. In other words, you will only attract what you are presently. To ensure that you only attract what you want, be sure to get clear about who you are first (https://www.tmjempowers.com/blog/but-first-let-me-take-a-selfie).
Learned Behavior from Childhood
I think it’s fair to say that our way of thinking and behaving was shaped by what we saw growing up; most of which was incorrect or dysfunctional in some way. The first seven years of our lives are when we are the most susceptible to what our environments consist of. Growing up, I witnessed both married and single couples. In as many as I can remember, there was some form of abuse. I saw how the men and women interacted with one another and subconsciously, those observances taught me what to accept in my own relationships. Let me tell you, it wasn’t always good.
Black women are less likely to respect dominant black men because they have not been given the necessary tools mentally to truly understand the structure of a strong family foundation due to being Europeanized and stripped away from their native culture. When the black man was removed from the black family and emasculated, psychologically, women were conditioned to become the head of the house hold designed to be “taken care of” by the government in place of the black man. There isn't much emphasis on how to submit and allow a man to lead in the home, because there were no black men in the homes. When the structure is broken in the homes, it is subsequently broken in our communities as well.
With black women being conditioned by controlling acts of brutality and manipulated into perverted forms of submission, planting the seed for dismantling the black familial structure was inevitable. The ability to understand where the deeply rooted subconscious beliefs stem from, empowers us to be able to go back into what we saw growing up and make distinct correlation between what is correct and what isn’t. Before you write me or my perspective off as being an incorrect absolute, allow me to leave you with this:
( excerpt from the “Willie Lynch Letter”)
“The Breaking Process of the African Woman Take the female and run a series of tests on her to see if she will submit to your desires willingly. Test her in every way, because she is the most important factor for good economics. If she shows any sign of resistance in submitting completely to your will, do not hesitate to use the bull whip on her to extract that last bit of resistance out of her. Take care not to kill her, for in doing so, you spoil good economic. When in complete submission, she will train her off springs in the early years to submit to labor when the become of age. Understanding is the best thing. Therefore, we shall go deeper into this area of the subject matter concerning what we have produced here in this breaking process of the female nigger. We have reversed the relationship in her natural uncivilized state she would have a strong dependency on the uncivilized nigger male, and she would have a limited protective tendency toward her independent male offspring and would raise male off springs to be dependent like her. Nature had provided for this type of balance. We reversed nature by burning and pulling a civilized nigger apart and bull whipping the other to the point of death, all in her presence. By her being left alone, unprotected, with the male image destroyed, the ordeal caused her to move from her psychological dependent state to a frozen independent state. In this frozen psychological state of independence, she will raise her male and female offspring in reversed roles. For fear of the young males life she will psychologically train him to be mentally weak and dependent, but physically strong. Because she has become psychologically independent, she will train her female off springs to be psychological independent. What have you got? You've got the nigger women out front and the nigger man behind and scared. This is a perfect situation of sound sleep and economic. Before the breaking process, we had to be alertly on guard at all times.”